He warned us that some of his worst performances came when he was closing for the first time and returning to the rotation thereafter, but who among us wasn't secretly hoping for a dominant six innings out of Smoltz tonight? Oh well. We're not stressing this yet; a few more starts of a similar nature and we'll be calling for him to join Dice-K on the WBCDL, but for now we're going to assume it's some rust and that he'll shake it off over the next couple of weeks. Even in this, um, less than inspiring start, he had moments when you could see exactly why he's a no doubt hall of famer.** And then he'd give up another hit to Josh Bard.***
Too bad Jordan Zimmermann was consistently good. He's a seriously impressive kid.
Luckily, we took the first two games of the series, so we're actually okay with this loss. Winning is better--don't get us wrong! we like winning! we think it's kind of nifty keen!--but we still won the series. And that's the key. Sometimes you just need to tip your cap and move on to Atlanta.
In conclusion, you know a game's out of reach when Julio Lugo shows up. And promptly boots a grounder.
*RIP, Michael Jackson. And Farrah Fawcett.
**See also, the fifth inning.
***He really hates the Red Sox, doesn't he? Not that we can blame him.
Showing posts with label lugo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lugo. Show all posts
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
We do not approve of the rising price of stamps in this house
05/13/08: Red Sox 4, Orioles 5
Congratulations to the AL East leading Tampa Bay Rays.
Now that we've got that out of the way, and since it worked so well last time, a plea:
Dear Red Sox,
First of all, let us reiterate that we love you. We love you when you're executing pitches and we love you when you're decidedly not. We love you when you're scoring runs and making it look effortless, and we love you when you're grounding into double plays and stranding everyone on base. So there's that. We may threaten you and throw things and scream and curse up a storm, but that doesn't negate the love. Remember that.
So when we say, "Execute fucking pitches, Pap/Wake/Claybee/Becky," we say it with love. And the pain that comes from watching the other team knock one over the wall or hit another RBI single or laugh with Sean Casey at first base after drawing yet another walk. But there is love somewhere lurking beneath the profanities.
When we say, "Stop with the rally killing, Tek/Mikey/Manny," we say it with love. And the pain that comes from another GIDP or strikeout or failure to advance the runner. The pain that comes from losing. But also love.
When we say, "Oh, god, not another error, Lugo," we say it with pain. Though we haven't said that recently*, so it's probably just unnecessarily cruel for us to mention it here. Oh well. No one ever accused us of being nice.
When we say, "We miss B. Moss," we actually mean exactly what we're saying. And we're saying it with love. We're also saying that we want Theo to continue where we left off with the GBMU project.
And when we say, "Oh, fuck, what's wrong now?", we're freaking out because JD rolled over on his wrist or Coco disappeared (we've been watching without sound for a variety of complicated superstitious reasons that are obviously not working) and is that Youk in right?, but also because we love. And fear.** And love.
However, just because we'll still love you doesn't mean you should give up or anything crazy like that. Do not give in to our new no-longer-Devil Rays overlords, and rage, rage, rage against the stranding of runners in scoring position. In conclusion, please win tomorrow. Pretty please with a cherry on top, even. We promise to buy something shiny the next time we're at Fenway.***
Love,
The Ladies of Respect the Tek
*Look, we actually do want you to feel better, Lugey. We just don't particularly want to go through that whole thing where we don't expect routine plays to be made every single time a ball is hit in your direction. So, you know, it's a conundrum.
**There was a moment later in the game where it looked like Youk and Casey were going to collide. They didn't, of course, but we had a brief nightmarish flash of someone saying, "Now playing in right field, Kevin Cash." The loss seemed almost anti-climatic after that.
***Okay, fine, Jennifer's planning on getting a jersey anyway.
Congratulations to the AL East leading Tampa Bay Rays.
Now that we've got that out of the way, and since it worked so well last time, a plea:
Dear Red Sox,
First of all, let us reiterate that we love you. We love you when you're executing pitches and we love you when you're decidedly not. We love you when you're scoring runs and making it look effortless, and we love you when you're grounding into double plays and stranding everyone on base. So there's that. We may threaten you and throw things and scream and curse up a storm, but that doesn't negate the love. Remember that.
So when we say, "Execute fucking pitches, Pap/Wake/Claybee/Becky," we say it with love. And the pain that comes from watching the other team knock one over the wall or hit another RBI single or laugh with Sean Casey at first base after drawing yet another walk. But there is love somewhere lurking beneath the profanities.
When we say, "Stop with the rally killing, Tek/Mikey/Manny," we say it with love. And the pain that comes from another GIDP or strikeout or failure to advance the runner. The pain that comes from losing. But also love.
When we say, "Oh, god, not another error, Lugo," we say it with pain. Though we haven't said that recently*, so it's probably just unnecessarily cruel for us to mention it here. Oh well. No one ever accused us of being nice.
When we say, "We miss B. Moss," we actually mean exactly what we're saying. And we're saying it with love. We're also saying that we want Theo to continue where we left off with the GBMU project.
And when we say, "Oh, fuck, what's wrong now?", we're freaking out because JD rolled over on his wrist or Coco disappeared (we've been watching without sound for a variety of complicated superstitious reasons that are obviously not working) and is that Youk in right?, but also because we love. And fear.** And love.
However, just because we'll still love you doesn't mean you should give up or anything crazy like that. Do not give in to our new no-longer-Devil Rays overlords, and rage, rage, rage against the stranding of runners in scoring position. In conclusion, please win tomorrow. Pretty please with a cherry on top, even. We promise to buy something shiny the next time we're at Fenway.***
Love,
The Ladies of Respect the Tek
*Look, we actually do want you to feel better, Lugey. We just don't particularly want to go through that whole thing where we don't expect routine plays to be made every single time a ball is hit in your direction. So, you know, it's a conundrum.
**There was a moment later in the game where it looked like Youk and Casey were going to collide. They didn't, of course, but we had a brief nightmarish flash of someone saying, "Now playing in right field, Kevin Cash." The loss seemed almost anti-climatic after that.
***Okay, fine, Jennifer's planning on getting a jersey anyway.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
We do not understand why Jed Lowrie isn't the everyday shortstop in this house
05/07/08: Red Sox 9, Tigers 10
Oh, that kooky Julio Lugo. What a character.
Anyway, we're going to try to focus on the bright side a little here. The painful, crazy, "what the hell just happened?" loss allowed Jennifer to vent some of the work-related stress she's been carrying around all month, so, you know, Julio Lugo: still more expensive than therapy, but at least some one else is footing the bill.
And Dustin Pedroia is a pinch-hit RBI midget. Mikey Lowell is still Mikey Lowell. Youk is angry (and the new "Stud Who Hits Bombs," at least in our little corner of the universe). Tek isn't exactly hitting in Detroit, but that strike 'em out-throw 'em out in the eighth was a serious thing of beauty. We're sure there are other things buried in there (Julian Tavarez is still alive: who knew?), too, but the loss hangover has us in its grip.
Never mind that, for a while there, it didn't look like the Red Sox had a chance in hell of winning this one. We'd even resigned ourselves to the loss, repeating, "the worst we can do is split" whenever another Tiger got on base. The very fact that the Red Sox made a game of it, let alone took a brief lead, was an unexpected bright spot in a game that had all the beauty of a slugfest. An ugly, bloody, fight to the pain. So we're going to cling to that. We're going to remember the, "oh my god he- he did!" when Youk hit his second homer of the game; we're going to focus on out impromptu rendition of "guess who's back, back again? Mikey's back, tell a friend" when our muy caliente third baseman also decided to go yard.
Ninth inning? What ninth inning?
Honestly, as bright as the picture's been lately, what with the sweeping Tampa Bay* and the Papi and the Tim "Wonder" Wakefield, this bleak spot just stands out a little too much. The passionate lobbying of Boston fans got Mike Lowell a new contract**--do you think it can get Julio Lugo designated for assignment? Seriously, if we took up a collection at Fenway over the course of one three-game series, we bet we could raise enough to seriously offset his salary. Or maybe we can just borrow Manny's copy of The Secret, and use the power of positive thinking to make Lugey disappear.
We know what we'll focus on for our happy thought***: the flawlessly executed strike-'em-out-throw-'em-out double play that Okajima and Captain Fenway provided.
Please hold while we replay it mentally...
...yeah, that's the stuff that dreams are made of.
*We were at Fenway on May 2 for the cold rain and the Brandon Moss home run--if you were there, you probably heard us howling about how much we loved him. We wish him the best in his recovery from appendicitis. We bet he'll come back hitting like a tiger, and he's welcome to show us his scar anytime.
**Okay, not really, but if we as a society can pretend that our votes for President and American Idol count, we should be able to go with this one, too! Clap your hands if you believe!
***The other happy thought is that as we type this, Beckett is minutes away from starting. Here's hoping he ate his Wheaties and drank his mescaline!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
We do not E6 (three times!) in this house
4/6/08: Red Sox 4, Blue Jays 7
Notes on a Scandal:
1. Julio Lugo: now, we don't know stats, but doesn't it seem like his VORP is currently at, like, negative 500? Can we call up Jed Lowrie? Or, um, let Alex Cora play shortstop! Or, heck, let's call up Argenis Diaz from High-A Lancaster!
2. Toronto: our true AL East rivals. This series just confirmed something we've been suspecting for some time now.
3. Josh Beckett: we were worried when he came out throwing 98 in the first, not because we don't want him throwing hard but because we were concerned that he'd tire quickly. Which certainly seemed to be the case, control-wise, especially in the fifth. That said, he did better than his line will suggest, and we're nothing but thrilled to have him back in the rotation.
4. The 3, 4, and 5-hole hitters: need to step it up a notch, start hitting, get hot- whatever you want to call it, they need to do it.* And soon. Maybe finally coming home to Fenway will do the trick. We can only hope.
5. The bullpen: why bring in Manny in the Del just in time to face Frank Thomas with the bases loaded? (Okay, so that's more of a bullpen management question, but still. It seems like Beckett should've been pulled earlier or else allowed to face Thomas himself; bringing in MDC was rather a self-fulfilling prophesy of doom.)
6. The Big Snyde: we at Respect the Tek apologize for any and all jinxes, hexes, and/or curses we may have brought upon you when we mentioned that you looked good in the one spring training start of yours we saw. We wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors (unless you pitch against the Red Sox, in which case we wish you nothing of the sort).
7. "They were outplayed in almost every face of the game" -Jerry Remy: which leads to the question as to which facet of the game they were not outplayed in. We humbly submit that the Red Sox outplayed the Blue Jays in kickassedness of catchers and Papelbonness of Papelbons.
8. Tito: look, someone needs to get him his pullover back, stat, because obviously the loss of it is affecting his managerial skills. Not only was there was the whole bullpen issue mentioned above, but he kept Lugo in with 2 outs in the ninth and the tying run at the plate. Lugo! Who was 0-whatever in the game! When there were actually people on the bench! Does not compute.
9. The so-called bottom of the AL East: no, really, someone needs to get those memos out and fast, as Toronto's starting to get ideas. And the Orioles beat the Mariners. (The Bay Rays, alas, lost to the Yankees, so maybe the memo's on it's way?)
10. GBMU:** 1-4 with a walk and 2 rbi.
*Though Papi did have an RBI today. Which is more than we can say for Manny "GIDP" Ramirez (who at least played some defense, making that catch at the wall and giving us a false sense of optimism about the game for about 3.7 seconds).
**Gratuitous Brandon Moss Update.
Notes on a Scandal:
1. Julio Lugo: now, we don't know stats, but doesn't it seem like his VORP is currently at, like, negative 500? Can we call up Jed Lowrie? Or, um, let Alex Cora play shortstop! Or, heck, let's call up Argenis Diaz from High-A Lancaster!
2. Toronto: our true AL East rivals. This series just confirmed something we've been suspecting for some time now.
3. Josh Beckett: we were worried when he came out throwing 98 in the first, not because we don't want him throwing hard but because we were concerned that he'd tire quickly. Which certainly seemed to be the case, control-wise, especially in the fifth. That said, he did better than his line will suggest, and we're nothing but thrilled to have him back in the rotation.
4. The 3, 4, and 5-hole hitters: need to step it up a notch, start hitting, get hot- whatever you want to call it, they need to do it.* And soon. Maybe finally coming home to Fenway will do the trick. We can only hope.
5. The bullpen: why bring in Manny in the Del just in time to face Frank Thomas with the bases loaded? (Okay, so that's more of a bullpen management question, but still. It seems like Beckett should've been pulled earlier or else allowed to face Thomas himself; bringing in MDC was rather a self-fulfilling prophesy of doom.)
6. The Big Snyde: we at Respect the Tek apologize for any and all jinxes, hexes, and/or curses we may have brought upon you when we mentioned that you looked good in the one spring training start of yours we saw. We wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors (unless you pitch against the Red Sox, in which case we wish you nothing of the sort).
7. "They were outplayed in almost every face of the game" -Jerry Remy: which leads to the question as to which facet of the game they were not outplayed in. We humbly submit that the Red Sox outplayed the Blue Jays in kickassedness of catchers and Papelbonness of Papelbons.
8. Tito: look, someone needs to get him his pullover back, stat, because obviously the loss of it is affecting his managerial skills. Not only was there was the whole bullpen issue mentioned above, but he kept Lugo in with 2 outs in the ninth and the tying run at the plate. Lugo! Who was 0-whatever in the game! When there were actually people on the bench! Does not compute.
9. The so-called bottom of the AL East: no, really, someone needs to get those memos out and fast, as Toronto's starting to get ideas. And the Orioles beat the Mariners. (The Bay Rays, alas, lost to the Yankees, so maybe the memo's on it's way?)
10. GBMU:** 1-4 with a walk and 2 rbi.
*Though Papi did have an RBI today. Which is more than we can say for Manny "GIDP" Ramirez (who at least played some defense, making that catch at the wall and giving us a false sense of optimism about the game for about 3.7 seconds).
**Gratuitous Brandon Moss Update.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
We do not have enough alcohol in this house
06/29/07: Rangers 1, Red Sox 2
06/30/07: Rangers 5, Red Sox 4
07/01/07: Rangers 2, Red Sox 1
After the Safeco slump, winning the first game of this homestand was a pleasant and enlightening experience. We learned that Manny Delcarmen is a cool customer (delightful!), that Mike Lowell is more soothing a presence than Doug Mirabelli (shocking!), and that Dustin Pedroia does not fear the reaper (just plain awesome!).
Thanks to NESN, we also learned that Tek has a signal which causes Papelbon to pretend to shake him off. A fake-out signal! We just know they spent a whole lot of time working that one out, with Paps never able to keep a straight face. This calls into question the certainty of our blog tagline and pretty much all reality as we know it--and we love that.
As for the last two losses, well, we're trying to salvage something upbeat out of the pain, and here's what we got:
1. We went at Fenway on Saturday night, and we turned standing room into dancing room when Mike Timlin was warming up and "Black Betty" was playing in his honor. We thought it was just a catchy song, but he proceeded to pitch a beautiful top of the ninth. We hereby declare ourselves the Official Mike Timlin Solid Gold Dancers. Bam-a-lam!
2. No appearance by El Coco Salon And Day Spa at center, so we got a look at Jacoby Ellsbury both nights. He doesn't quite seem ready for primetime, but he's easy on the eyes. And speedy. And probably still gets carded every time he tries to buy cigarettes.
3. Julian Tavarez made fewer nervewracking mistakes in his start today than Josh Beckett did yesterday. Somehow, we knew that crazy old Jim Leyland would fail to recognize the Genius of Guano and leave Tavarez out of his All-Star bullpen. There is no justice!* Gang, let's meet up in San Francisco for a protest rally! Donna Martin graduates!**
Our pitching was not the problem in these games. Pitching, especially from the bullpen, was shiny and sweet, like an apple. Like an appletini. But the offense? A flat Miller Lite.
We've had five chances in seven days to watch this team struggle, inning after inning, and fail to come up with a single run, leaving the population of Rhode Island stranded on base. Sure, it's consoling that the rest of the AL East has been equally miserable this week. But it's hard to relax when our games seem destined to conclude with Papi or Manny striking out in a dramatic style that feels like the world's coming to an end.***
Inquiring minds want to know: Is this something we can fix, or is this the sign of a pox on our entire season? Is the era of our power hitters over or will they heat up again after the All-Star Break?
Inquiring minds really want your answer to that question if it's something hopeful and reassuring. Or if you are Dave Magadan and have the power to stage an intervention.
The first step is to recognize that you are powerless over Julio Lugo, and that he has become unmanageable.
*Speaking of not fair, it's really sad that Youkilis didn't make the team. Sure, he'll enjoy the time off--his blog indicates that he's debating between Cape Cod and Vegas for his vacation, and one shudders to imagine what Youk wouldn't get up to in Vegas--but it just feels wrong that he isn't getting the recognition. We're definitely excited for Mikey Lowell, even though he'd probably also prefer to join the crowd at Manny's Annual Tailgate Extravaganza And Slip'N'Slide Baserunning Clinic.
Don't forget to cast your Final Vote for Hideki Okajima.
**Anybody who's willing to do a point-by-point comparison of the 90210 cast to the 2007 Red Sox bullpen, with special attention to the profound Josh Beckett-Shannen Doherty parallels, please let us know so we can submit our marriage proposals to you in a timely fashion.
***Though a big chunk of the blame for Saturday's loss should land on Lugey's head, for taking a charity pinch-run and promptly, inexplicably converting it into an idiotic inning-ending out. It appears to have strained even the spanielesque loyalty of Francona. You know, he's almost inspiring, in a way. Somehow he became a professional baseball player and multimillionaire even though he lacks virtually every skill necessary to play the game, up to and including the common sense God gave a plate of coleslaw. Anything he can do, we can do better. So can our neighbor's cat. So can a shoe.
06/30/07: Rangers 5, Red Sox 4
07/01/07: Rangers 2, Red Sox 1
After the Safeco slump, winning the first game of this homestand was a pleasant and enlightening experience. We learned that Manny Delcarmen is a cool customer (delightful!), that Mike Lowell is more soothing a presence than Doug Mirabelli (shocking!), and that Dustin Pedroia does not fear the reaper (just plain awesome!).
Thanks to NESN, we also learned that Tek has a signal which causes Papelbon to pretend to shake him off. A fake-out signal! We just know they spent a whole lot of time working that one out, with Paps never able to keep a straight face. This calls into question the certainty of our blog tagline and pretty much all reality as we know it--and we love that.
As for the last two losses, well, we're trying to salvage something upbeat out of the pain, and here's what we got:
1. We went at Fenway on Saturday night, and we turned standing room into dancing room when Mike Timlin was warming up and "Black Betty" was playing in his honor. We thought it was just a catchy song, but he proceeded to pitch a beautiful top of the ninth. We hereby declare ourselves the Official Mike Timlin Solid Gold Dancers. Bam-a-lam!
2. No appearance by El Coco Salon And Day Spa at center, so we got a look at Jacoby Ellsbury both nights. He doesn't quite seem ready for primetime, but he's easy on the eyes. And speedy. And probably still gets carded every time he tries to buy cigarettes.
3. Julian Tavarez made fewer nervewracking mistakes in his start today than Josh Beckett did yesterday. Somehow, we knew that crazy old Jim Leyland would fail to recognize the Genius of Guano and leave Tavarez out of his All-Star bullpen. There is no justice!* Gang, let's meet up in San Francisco for a protest rally! Donna Martin graduates!**
Our pitching was not the problem in these games. Pitching, especially from the bullpen, was shiny and sweet, like an apple. Like an appletini. But the offense? A flat Miller Lite.
We've had five chances in seven days to watch this team struggle, inning after inning, and fail to come up with a single run, leaving the population of Rhode Island stranded on base. Sure, it's consoling that the rest of the AL East has been equally miserable this week. But it's hard to relax when our games seem destined to conclude with Papi or Manny striking out in a dramatic style that feels like the world's coming to an end.***
Inquiring minds want to know: Is this something we can fix, or is this the sign of a pox on our entire season? Is the era of our power hitters over or will they heat up again after the All-Star Break?
Inquiring minds really want your answer to that question if it's something hopeful and reassuring. Or if you are Dave Magadan and have the power to stage an intervention.
The first step is to recognize that you are powerless over Julio Lugo, and that he has become unmanageable.
*Speaking of not fair, it's really sad that Youkilis didn't make the team. Sure, he'll enjoy the time off--his blog indicates that he's debating between Cape Cod and Vegas for his vacation, and one shudders to imagine what Youk wouldn't get up to in Vegas--but it just feels wrong that he isn't getting the recognition. We're definitely excited for Mikey Lowell, even though he'd probably also prefer to join the crowd at Manny's Annual Tailgate Extravaganza And Slip'N'Slide Baserunning Clinic.
Don't forget to cast your Final Vote for Hideki Okajima.
**Anybody who's willing to do a point-by-point comparison of the 90210 cast to the 2007 Red Sox bullpen, with special attention to the profound Josh Beckett-Shannen Doherty parallels, please let us know so we can submit our marriage proposals to you in a timely fashion.
***Though a big chunk of the blame for Saturday's loss should land on Lugey's head, for taking a charity pinch-run and promptly, inexplicably converting it into an idiotic inning-ending out. It appears to have strained even the spanielesque loyalty of Francona. You know, he's almost inspiring, in a way. Somehow he became a professional baseball player and multimillionaire even though he lacks virtually every skill necessary to play the game, up to and including the common sense God gave a plate of coleslaw. Anything he can do, we can do better. So can our neighbor's cat. So can a shoe.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
We do not intentionally walk the Captain in this house.
06/20/07: Red Sox 11, Braves 0
Today, Julian Tavarez pitched seven confusingly awesome shut-out innings (though he didn't bowl any balls to first or beanball any hecklers, more's the pity), five different guys (Drew, Crisp, Ortiz, Ramirez, Hinske) hit home runs, 11 total runs were scored, so of course we're going to talk about Jason Varitek. (What, are you surprised? Please, take a moment, visit with the title of the blog.)
First of all, he's been intentionally walked more times this season than David Ortiz. True fact. Twice in this series alone. Which, don't get us wrong, we love our Captain, but if you were the Braves, judging by what you've seen in this series from Coco Crisp and Jason Varitek, who would you intentionally walk and to whom would you pitch?
Let's look at the numbers for this series as of the start of tonight's game:
Jason Varitek: 2 SO, 1 BB, 2 H, 1 R, 0 RBI, 0 HR,
Coco Crisp: 1 SO, 0 BB, 5 H, 2 R, 2 RBI, 2 HR.
Right, so if you picked pitching to Tek and hoping to get that last out before Coco "I've already hit 2 homers so far this series, but, hey, I'm sure those were just flukes, man, trust me" Crisp gets up to bat...Congratulations! You are not the Braves. You probably didn't just have a pile of runs scored against you.
(Unless you're the Yankees.)
But we said we were going to talk about the Captain, and, gosh darn it, let's talk about the Captain. He was intentionally walked, struck out twice (and didn't look too happy with some of the ump's calls in the process*), and hit a single tonight. He also managed to look mighty fine doing so (and maybe one day we'll give up all semblance of serious blogging and just rhapsodize about our love of his old school socks, his uniform, his thighs, his face, his eyes, his [censored]). We have a magnet of him on our fridge, which has nothing at all to do with tonight's game but everything to do with our complete and utter lack of objectivity when it comes to this man.
It's entirely possible that we cheered when he got his hit tonight. It's also possible that we clapped. And when he was forced out at third on a Julio Lugo single, and he took off his batting helmet and looked so disappointed in himself, it is entirely possible that we wanted to...give him a hug? Bake him cookies? Make sure he knows Boston loves him unconditionally? All of the above?
Tek back in the dugout after getting forced out at third, a dramatic reenactment:
FRANCONA: It's okay, Jason.
VARITEK: How was I supposed to know that Lugey was going to actually get a hit?
FRANCONA: ...
VARITEK: I was sure he was going to pop out.
VARITEK looks sad and sits down. Various members of the team come up to him to console him. Nobody goes to console JULIO LUGO.
THE END.
In conclusion, a great game, and not just because we won. It's also because we're back to a two digit lead in the AL East, at least for one night, and we're enjoying that while we can.
*Hey, what was with Brian McCann twice calling time-out after Beckett was already winding up in Game 2? Is that allowed? Is there a word for "opposite of balk"? Or an appropriate penalty, like an automatic strike or maybe the pitcher gets to spit his gum out in your hair?
Today, Julian Tavarez pitched seven confusingly awesome shut-out innings (though he didn't bowl any balls to first or beanball any hecklers, more's the pity), five different guys (Drew, Crisp, Ortiz, Ramirez, Hinske) hit home runs, 11 total runs were scored, so of course we're going to talk about Jason Varitek. (What, are you surprised? Please, take a moment, visit with the title of the blog.)
First of all, he's been intentionally walked more times this season than David Ortiz. True fact. Twice in this series alone. Which, don't get us wrong, we love our Captain, but if you were the Braves, judging by what you've seen in this series from Coco Crisp and Jason Varitek, who would you intentionally walk and to whom would you pitch?
Let's look at the numbers for this series as of the start of tonight's game:
Jason Varitek: 2 SO, 1 BB, 2 H, 1 R, 0 RBI, 0 HR,
Coco Crisp: 1 SO, 0 BB, 5 H, 2 R, 2 RBI, 2 HR.
Right, so if you picked pitching to Tek and hoping to get that last out before Coco "I've already hit 2 homers so far this series, but, hey, I'm sure those were just flukes, man, trust me" Crisp gets up to bat...Congratulations! You are not the Braves. You probably didn't just have a pile of runs scored against you.
(Unless you're the Yankees.)
But we said we were going to talk about the Captain, and, gosh darn it, let's talk about the Captain. He was intentionally walked, struck out twice (and didn't look too happy with some of the ump's calls in the process*), and hit a single tonight. He also managed to look mighty fine doing so (and maybe one day we'll give up all semblance of serious blogging and just rhapsodize about our love of his old school socks, his uniform, his thighs, his face, his eyes, his [censored]). We have a magnet of him on our fridge, which has nothing at all to do with tonight's game but everything to do with our complete and utter lack of objectivity when it comes to this man.
It's entirely possible that we cheered when he got his hit tonight. It's also possible that we clapped. And when he was forced out at third on a Julio Lugo single, and he took off his batting helmet and looked so disappointed in himself, it is entirely possible that we wanted to...give him a hug? Bake him cookies? Make sure he knows Boston loves him unconditionally? All of the above?
Tek back in the dugout after getting forced out at third, a dramatic reenactment:
FRANCONA: It's okay, Jason.
VARITEK: How was I supposed to know that Lugey was going to actually get a hit?
FRANCONA: ...
VARITEK: I was sure he was going to pop out.
VARITEK looks sad and sits down. Various members of the team come up to him to console him. Nobody goes to console JULIO LUGO.
THE END.
In conclusion, a great game, and not just because we won. It's also because we're back to a two digit lead in the AL East, at least for one night, and we're enjoying that while we can.
*Hey, what was with Brian McCann twice calling time-out after Beckett was already winding up in Game 2? Is that allowed? Is there a word for "opposite of balk"? Or an appropriate penalty, like an automatic strike or maybe the pitcher gets to spit his gum out in your hair?
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