9/6/07: Red Sox 7, Orioles 6
9/7/07: Red Sox 4, Orioles 0
9/8/07: Red Sox 5, Orioles 11
9/9/07: Red Sox 3, Orioles 2
Hey, Boston, we're officially done with the Os for the season! Everybody set your Kevin Millar phasers back to "gently stun."
Four notes on a four-game series:
1. One of these games is not like the others. One of these games just doesn't belong.
2. Seriously, not to dwell on the single loss, but Dice-K's performance was on par with Britney Spears' trainwreck on the MTV Video Music Awards tonight. Sure, we weren't expecting perfection, but we also weren't expecting a deer-in-the-headlights gaze, slow-motion movements, and the overall sense that the star of the show had abandoned all hope.*
Britsuzaka, get yourself to some kind of "wellness clinic." We're all pulling for you. We hear Bronson Arroyo is already arranging the benefit concert.
3. After being rattled by Toronto, the bullpen was lights out at Fenway South. With the exception of Tavvy (and seriously, they've gotta stop listening to him when he claims he can throw with a two-minute warning and a Red Bull--or else, hook the man up to a Red Bull I.V.)**, our bullpen band did not give up a single run in these four games. Even though we spend a lot of this space giving love to Paps and Oki and dancing for Mike Timlin,*** we sometimes take it for granted. It's nice to pay as much attention to their "routine" dominance as to their rare mistakes. It's nice to see question marks like Lopez and Snyder and bullpen newbie Buchholz shutting down everyone in their path, and even nicer to see Paps getting his save on with an efficient-yet-badass dozen pitches. Can they all win the Cy Young together and share custody?****
4. The bottom of our order stepped it up this series. The Man Papelbon Calls Cap'n came through twice in key late-inning situations, and today he even took a little extra time out for sexy defense; Coco Crisp had a homer, tall socks, and today's game-winning hit. Even J.D. Drew (not technically in the bottom third of our order, but let's not beat around the .383 SLG) contributed, with the bat and on the basepaths. We really want to be pulling for Slim J.D., at least until such time as we have the wherewithal to actually buy the team and start auctioning contracts off on eBay. This week he made our lives easier.
Of course, it's always easy to root for Tek. The hard part is watching him strike out and make a face like he'll never forgive himself, and unfortunately we had to see that a bunch this series.***** We hope he's taking comfort, post-Orioles, in what he did accomplish. And figuring out which of his gloves will best fit Britsuzaka's face.
You know. Tough love.
*They also did about the same amount of lip-synching.
**Someone should also tell Tavvy not to try and be the voice of reason in any sort of fight situation. Did you see him approach the mound to talk to crazed Daniel Cabrera? Did you, also, expect him to pull a shank from his sweatband? When he didn't, weren't we all the tiniest bit disappointed?
***Yes, it still works. Bam-a-lam!
****Can they also have a Grammy? Come on, whatever they were playing, it must be better than the award-winning "My Humps."
*****Blame the umpire, Tek! Mike Lowell totally has your back.
Showing posts with label crisp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crisp. Show all posts
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
We do not intentionally walk the Captain in this house.
06/20/07: Red Sox 11, Braves 0
Today, Julian Tavarez pitched seven confusingly awesome shut-out innings (though he didn't bowl any balls to first or beanball any hecklers, more's the pity), five different guys (Drew, Crisp, Ortiz, Ramirez, Hinske) hit home runs, 11 total runs were scored, so of course we're going to talk about Jason Varitek. (What, are you surprised? Please, take a moment, visit with the title of the blog.)
First of all, he's been intentionally walked more times this season than David Ortiz. True fact. Twice in this series alone. Which, don't get us wrong, we love our Captain, but if you were the Braves, judging by what you've seen in this series from Coco Crisp and Jason Varitek, who would you intentionally walk and to whom would you pitch?
Let's look at the numbers for this series as of the start of tonight's game:
Jason Varitek: 2 SO, 1 BB, 2 H, 1 R, 0 RBI, 0 HR,
Coco Crisp: 1 SO, 0 BB, 5 H, 2 R, 2 RBI, 2 HR.
Right, so if you picked pitching to Tek and hoping to get that last out before Coco "I've already hit 2 homers so far this series, but, hey, I'm sure those were just flukes, man, trust me" Crisp gets up to bat...Congratulations! You are not the Braves. You probably didn't just have a pile of runs scored against you.
(Unless you're the Yankees.)
But we said we were going to talk about the Captain, and, gosh darn it, let's talk about the Captain. He was intentionally walked, struck out twice (and didn't look too happy with some of the ump's calls in the process*), and hit a single tonight. He also managed to look mighty fine doing so (and maybe one day we'll give up all semblance of serious blogging and just rhapsodize about our love of his old school socks, his uniform, his thighs, his face, his eyes, his [censored]). We have a magnet of him on our fridge, which has nothing at all to do with tonight's game but everything to do with our complete and utter lack of objectivity when it comes to this man.
It's entirely possible that we cheered when he got his hit tonight. It's also possible that we clapped. And when he was forced out at third on a Julio Lugo single, and he took off his batting helmet and looked so disappointed in himself, it is entirely possible that we wanted to...give him a hug? Bake him cookies? Make sure he knows Boston loves him unconditionally? All of the above?
Tek back in the dugout after getting forced out at third, a dramatic reenactment:
FRANCONA: It's okay, Jason.
VARITEK: How was I supposed to know that Lugey was going to actually get a hit?
FRANCONA: ...
VARITEK: I was sure he was going to pop out.
VARITEK looks sad and sits down. Various members of the team come up to him to console him. Nobody goes to console JULIO LUGO.
THE END.
In conclusion, a great game, and not just because we won. It's also because we're back to a two digit lead in the AL East, at least for one night, and we're enjoying that while we can.
*Hey, what was with Brian McCann twice calling time-out after Beckett was already winding up in Game 2? Is that allowed? Is there a word for "opposite of balk"? Or an appropriate penalty, like an automatic strike or maybe the pitcher gets to spit his gum out in your hair?
Today, Julian Tavarez pitched seven confusingly awesome shut-out innings (though he didn't bowl any balls to first or beanball any hecklers, more's the pity), five different guys (Drew, Crisp, Ortiz, Ramirez, Hinske) hit home runs, 11 total runs were scored, so of course we're going to talk about Jason Varitek. (What, are you surprised? Please, take a moment, visit with the title of the blog.)
First of all, he's been intentionally walked more times this season than David Ortiz. True fact. Twice in this series alone. Which, don't get us wrong, we love our Captain, but if you were the Braves, judging by what you've seen in this series from Coco Crisp and Jason Varitek, who would you intentionally walk and to whom would you pitch?
Let's look at the numbers for this series as of the start of tonight's game:
Jason Varitek: 2 SO, 1 BB, 2 H, 1 R, 0 RBI, 0 HR,
Coco Crisp: 1 SO, 0 BB, 5 H, 2 R, 2 RBI, 2 HR.
Right, so if you picked pitching to Tek and hoping to get that last out before Coco "I've already hit 2 homers so far this series, but, hey, I'm sure those were just flukes, man, trust me" Crisp gets up to bat...Congratulations! You are not the Braves. You probably didn't just have a pile of runs scored against you.
(Unless you're the Yankees.)
But we said we were going to talk about the Captain, and, gosh darn it, let's talk about the Captain. He was intentionally walked, struck out twice (and didn't look too happy with some of the ump's calls in the process*), and hit a single tonight. He also managed to look mighty fine doing so (and maybe one day we'll give up all semblance of serious blogging and just rhapsodize about our love of his old school socks, his uniform, his thighs, his face, his eyes, his [censored]). We have a magnet of him on our fridge, which has nothing at all to do with tonight's game but everything to do with our complete and utter lack of objectivity when it comes to this man.
It's entirely possible that we cheered when he got his hit tonight. It's also possible that we clapped. And when he was forced out at third on a Julio Lugo single, and he took off his batting helmet and looked so disappointed in himself, it is entirely possible that we wanted to...give him a hug? Bake him cookies? Make sure he knows Boston loves him unconditionally? All of the above?
Tek back in the dugout after getting forced out at third, a dramatic reenactment:
FRANCONA: It's okay, Jason.
VARITEK: How was I supposed to know that Lugey was going to actually get a hit?
FRANCONA: ...
VARITEK: I was sure he was going to pop out.
VARITEK looks sad and sits down. Various members of the team come up to him to console him. Nobody goes to console JULIO LUGO.
THE END.
In conclusion, a great game, and not just because we won. It's also because we're back to a two digit lead in the AL East, at least for one night, and we're enjoying that while we can.
*Hey, what was with Brian McCann twice calling time-out after Beckett was already winding up in Game 2? Is that allowed? Is there a word for "opposite of balk"? Or an appropriate penalty, like an automatic strike or maybe the pitcher gets to spit his gum out in your hair?
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